Showing posts with label famousJOKES. Show all posts
Showing posts with label famousJOKES. Show all posts

Artis Kantoi : Payudara Ada Lovebite!


Apa nak jadi pada anak muda sekarang ni?
Takde kesedaran sivik langsung!
Artis muda pulak tu!

Korang tengok gambar tu!
Muda-muda lagi dah pandai buat love bite!
Gua masa muda-muda dulu takde la perangai teruk macam ni!

Hah! Memang kena la dengan status engkau sebagai seorang artis!
Dunia siber ni, satu klik je dah boleh sebab satu dunia!
Amek kau!
Kau dah kantoi dah!
Tak boleh nak sorok dah!

Korang kenal artis ni!
Banyak membintangi filem-filem HOT masa kini!
Tengok muka je, korang pasti terbayang-bayang watak beliau memakai tudung labuh!

Percuma je berlakon pakai tudung..
Tapi, perangai tak boleh pakai!
Korang tengok la sendiri siapa gerangan artis ni!

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Moral of the story..
Jangan sepahkan pakaian dalam merata-rata.. 
Hahahahaha!

Siti Nurhaliza Kena Raba!


Kasihan..
Air mata Siti berlinangan..
Tak mampu menahan sebak..
Kejadian ini berlaku kerana tidak disengajakan..
Kelihatan suasana terlalu sibuk..
Tempat kejadian pastinya di hadapan khalayak ramai..
Ramai yang menyaksikan kejadian ini..
Namun, mereka semua tak mampu nak berbuat apa..
Gambar di atas hanya sebagai hiasan..
Gambar di bawah adalah situasi sebenar..


Tadaaaa!
Untunglah orang utan tak tahu apa-apa!

Lawak Gigi Besi!


18SX CONTENT!
NO KIDS ALLOWED!
GO TO SLEEP KIDS!


Lawak jenis apa ni?
Ada orang tahu tak?
Bagi explaination sikit please..
Saya cakap 18SX sebab nampak ada tilam dan seorang mamat sedang tersiksa kat situ..

Isteri Curang!



Pada satu malam, ada pasangan yg agak berumur sedang makan malam dengan romantiknya bagi menyambut ulangtahun perkahwinan mereka yg ke 50 tahun. Suaminya, seorang Tan Sri dan bekas ahli politik mula bercerita tentang nostalgia mereka suami isteri, sekian lama hidup bersama, suka duka, susah dan senang. Si suami memang menyanjung isterinnya, bernama Maria.

“Maria, selama kita kahwin ni, suka duka kita lalui, susah senang kita tempuh, abang amat menyanyang Maria, tapi ada satu perkara yg asyik bermain-main di benak abang ni dan abang selalu bertanya-tanya. Berterus-teranglah dgn abang pada malam ni, pernah tak Maria curang dgn abang selama ni?”
Maria agak terkedu sekejap dan merenung panjang muka suaminya itu, lalu berkata dengan penuh kekesalan, “Ya abang, Maria mengaku pernah curang dgn abang, tapi hanya 3 kali sahaja selama ni” “3 kali?”


Tan Sri tu agak terkejut, tapi tak la marah, dah tua dah dan memang berniat utk memaafkan isterinya,”Bagaimana boleh terjadi 3 kali tu Maria?”

Perlahan jer la isteri dia mula membuka lebaran cerita lama, “Abang ingatkan masa kita mula-mula kawin, terus beli rumah dan selang beberapa tahun, kita susah sangat masa tu hingga rumah kita hampir nak dirampas oleh bank?”

“Ya, abang ingat peristiwa tu” jawab si suami.

Si isteri menyambung cerita, “Abang pasti ingat yg pada satu petang tu Maria pergi jumpa pegawai bank tu dan esoknya, bank tu tak jadi rampas rumah kita, malah bagi tambahan pinjaman utk abang mulakan perniagaan..”

“Emmmm.. sukar buat abang menerima kenyataan ini, tapi abang maafkan maria kerana apa yg maria buat tu untuk masa depan kita jugak”, kata si suami.

” Kali ke 2 pulak?”

“Abang ingat tak, abang hampir menemui maut sebab ketumbuhan dalam otak pembedahan?” si isteri menyambung cerita
“Ya, abang ingat” jawab si suami.

“Kalau macam tu, abang pasti ingat yg Maria ada pergi jumpa doktor pakar tu dan esoknya, dia setuju buat pembedahan utk abang tanpa bayaran apa-apa pun..”

“Oh maria, walau perit hati ini mendengarkan, tapi abang tetap maafkan maria sebab apa yg maria buat tu untuk masa depan kita jugak dan kerana sayangkan abang jugak.. yang kali ke 3 macam mana pulak? “, kata si Tan Sri.
Si isteri menundukkan mukanya dan menjawab penuh lemah, “Abang, ingat tak masa abang bertanding merebut kerusi bahagian dan abang perlukan 248 undi lagi….”
Tan Sri pengsan kat situ jugak…


Seni Bangkai Lalat!

Seni bangkai lalat yang sangat kreatif!
Anda pasti terhibur..

Larian seratus meter!

Aksi membuang air!

Aksi santai!

Aksi menunggang kuda!

Aksi lompatan!
Lompat si lalat, lompat!

Aksi terjun bebas!

Aksi tandas!

Aksi berkumpulan!

Aksi kerjasama!

Aksi saudara!

Beza ketinggian!

Aksi apa pula ni?


R.I.P untuk semua bangkai lalat yang digunakan!
Semoga aman di sana..
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Memang sangat kreatif!

Japanese Student Creates Leg Hair Font!


A student from Japan’s Tama Art University came with the idea for a leg hair font, after his teachers asked him and his colleagues to create new typefaces without the help of computers.

Creating original letters without the use of digital design seems almost impossible in this day and age, and 20-year-old Mayuko Kanazawa started scratching her head for ideas the minute she heard about the challenge. She remembered seeing all kinds of letters, words and designs shaved into people’s heads, so she knew she wanted to work with hair, but she came up with the ultimate crazy idea only after a friend complained about a pain in her leg. Somehow she found the inspiration she needed in her friend’s leg hair, and the rest is history…

It’s not clear how Mayuko managed to manipulate an unnamed subject’s leg hair strains into detailed upper and lower case lettering, but she definitely did an outstanding job. It may grose some people out and will probably never be as popular as Times New Roman or the hated Comic Sans, but I’m betting it won her an “A” for originality. Plus it was used for an Adidas advert, which I doubt attracted too many sensitive female clients.



Mr. Penguin!


79-year-old Alfred David has come to be known as “Monsieur Pingouin” by the people of Brussels because he almost always walks around in his big penguin suit and even “talks” like one.

People who see Mr. Penguin for the first time and don’t know his story might think he’s on his way to a costume party, but the truth is the pensioner puts on the bizarre outfit because it makes him feel like more of a penguin. Alfred’s story began in May 1968, when he injured his hip in a car accident which left him with a limp his friends and colleagues thought was more like a waddle, so they gave him the nickname Mr. Penguin. Some would be bothered being called that, others probably couldn’t care less, but our Mr. David took a real interest in the flightless bird and eventually became obsessed with it.



The Belgian pensioner living in Brussels’ Schaerbeek neighborhood has spent most of the last 40 years of his life collecting all kinds of penguin memorabilia and throughout the years became convinced he too was a penguin. His home turned penguin-museum eventually numbered over 3,500 items linked to the cute bird, but Alfred’s wife was none to pleased with his behaviour, and when he told her he planned to officially change his name to Mr. Penguin, she showed him and his collection the door. He eventually donated all the penguin collectables to raise money for a local football theme, but his obsession for the flightless birds and his giant suit stuck with him.

Monsieur Pingouin has been featured on various television shows, including the 1992 Amsterdam premiere of Batman Returns, where he met Danny de Vito, who played supervillain ‘The Penguin’. Although TV appearances have become scarcer in the last few years, the people in his neighborhood all still know who he is and address him as ‘Monsieur Pingoiun’.



Alfred thinks his relationship with real penguins is so special that they can understand what he’s saying to them. Every time he goes to the zoo and tries to imitate their “ah, ah, aah” sounds, they come towards him and answer. He believes he will be reincarnated as a penguin, either in Antarctica or in some zoo. When he dies, he wants to be buried in Antarctica, dressed in his penguin suit, in a penguin-shaped coffin lined with penguin print. His gravestone has already been made in the shape of two penguins.


Here’s Top Gear’s Jeremy Clarkson having a chat with Mr, Penguin and feeding him raw fish…




WEIRD, WEIRD WORLD!

HE! HE! HE!
SUCH A BORING NIGHT~
BUSY OF DOING MY HOMEWORK~
Y'ALL KNOW WHAT~
SCHOOL WORK~
MY TEACHER SAID, "COMPLETE ALL YOUR LAB REPORT BEFORE I KICK YOUR LIL' ASS!!"
OH MAN~
JUST IGNORE MY BABBLING OKAY~
NOW, WE HAVE SOME IMPORTANT PICTURES TO SHARE!
YEAH! SUCH A WEIRD, WEIRD WORLD!
TODAY, SO MANY WEIRD STUFF YOU CAN FIND~
INCLUDING THIS SHIT..........
P/S : 18SX CONTENTS~ PARENTAL ADVISORY NEEDED~



HOLA GURLS! THIS IS SUITABLE FOR THOSE WHO LOVE GOLF~
JUST LIKE ME~ WEAR THIS~ AND THERE IS NO ONE GONNA GET ONE-IN-HOLE~
I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHAT'S THE PURPOSE~
DOES THE BRA WILL SING IF WE PUT COINS??
OR WILL IT DROP SOME TOOLS??
OR IS IT LUCKY DRAW?? FIVE FOR FIVE TIMES TOUCH??
MWAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!
JOKING!! IGNORE IT!~


LMAO!
LOOKS LIKE VASE AND THERE IS SOME CROPS THERE~
SO AMAZING~
AND~~~
AND SO SEXY~ :'P

WAAARRGGHHHH!
DOES ANYONE WANNA WEAR THIS??
WOAH, WOAH WOAH! YOU BOYS~
DON'T EVER THINK OF IT~
THIS QUESTION JUST FOR GIRLS~

IF I SAW HER, I WILL WATERING HER CROPS EVERYDAY~
I MEAN EVERYTIME~
MWAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!

ATTENTION!!
"I FOUND THIS BIG BRA DROPPED NEAR THE POST OFFICE.. HOPE THE OWNER WILL CLAIM IT A.S.A.P!!"
ANYONE?? PLEASE TELL THE WORLD ABOUT THIS!
THE OWNER COULD BE ANYONE~

BRA ADDICT??
PATHETIC!

OH! I CAN'T SEE THIS~
WHAT A SHAME!!

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AMAZING SHOES DESIGN EVER!

HELLO ALL!
Today we're gonna talk about all CREATIVE SHOES' DESIGN that really hard to find~
YES! YES! YES!
Just like my face~
Mine is exclusive and really hard to find also~
HAHAHAHA!
I know it was weird~
But my girlfriend said it was SEXY!
SEXY MAN! SEXY!
(p/s:JUST LIKE SON OF A BITCH!!)
Okay! Let's Get Started!

NOW YOU CAN PUT YOUR PET IN YOUR SHOES!
IF YOU DON'T MIND, YOU ALSO CAN PUT COW, DONKEY, AND DOG THERE~
HA! HO! HI! HU!

SAVING THE SPACE OF YOUR POCKET?

MAN~
DOES ANYONE WANNA WEAR THIS SHIT??

YOU CAN DESIGN IT BY YOURSELF~
THERE ARE SO MANY CHOICE!
FERRARI, LAMBO, SKYLINE, PROTON??
HA! HO! HI! HU!

ROCK ERA STYLE!
ME LOVE IT!

ALL GREEN STYLE!
I DUNNO IS IT REAL OR NOT!
LIAR!!
HA! HO! HI! HU!

JUST IN PRISON~

RIDICULOUS!
THIS IS CONVERSE OLD SCHOOL'S STYLE!

AUUUUM!! FIERCE!!

FARMVILLE!

TULAI FISH SANDAL??
DID YOU KNOW WHAT IS TULAI?
SOME SPECIES OF FISH!
HA! HO! HI! HU!

FORBIDDEN!
SNAKE IS EXTINCT NOW!
HI-TECH SHOES!
WALK ALONG WITH MUSIC NOW!
SING A LONG!
JENGLE BELL~ JINGLE BELL~
BLA~ BLA~ BLA~

BOAT STYLE?
HA! HO! HI! HU!

THINK MC GYVER! THINK!
HOW CAN WE WALK WITH THAT SHOES??
And this is for people that addict of TWITTER and FACEBOOK!

Alright! Alright!
End of the scene~
I'm so sorry if this thing annoy y'all~
Just enjoy it! :'P

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